i dont even know how i got here. a long night combined with some boardness i guess equals me coming back to a old web haunt of mine.

it doesnt feel like my own.

weird i suppose. going through all my old submitions and friends and favorites and feeling like i was looking in on someone's elses site. and reading my last journal writing i felt that i had to update something. if for no better reason then because i didnt want my last message to the DA community to be a dumb WoW refrence.

heh, i had to think for a while to even remeber my password.

i dont even know if anyone will read this. to some extent i dont care too much.. sure i would love to catch up with some of the awesome people i met on here. but i doubt that they would care/know. meh, thats life i suppose.

so what have i been doing for just about a year? damn, so much has happened. it feels weird to look back on what i said and who i framed myself to be and compare it to who i am now. much different shoes, for the better i think.

im no longer in high school, though i didnt graduate. i eneded up getting the GED acouple weeks before graduation. this allowed me to get a job very quickly and get a fair bit of scholarship money for college. im taking my pre reqs at the community college here and loving it. so incredibly easy to some extent, but i dont have to deal with drama and incopetent teachers (for the most part)

*after reading this quickly im painfully aware that even with 'higher education' my spelling still is horrifying, bah who cares*

i've done a whole lot of working over the summer, had up to three jobs at the same time for a little while. i was a cook for a nursing home, i enjoyed that for about 4 months till my boss finally figured out that i was going to be in school once august ended. (even though i wrote that on my resume) and got rid of me, because it's easyer to get a fulltime person then to have to deal with my peicemeal schedule. i worked at a petro gas station, wow that sucked. i did the graveyard shift from 11 to 6. i became a vampire to some extent. but i was the sad form of a vampire who cleans greesetraps and mops bathrooms. i also did some work at a catering company for just a little while. i enjoyed it for the most part but knew that she only needed me as a temp.

so to sum up my up to date work experiance, i have done shit.

and now to answer the question that kort always asks me "hows the love life" i have to admit it rocks. I've now been with shannon for little over a year now. i can honestly say that i've never loved anyone more then her and hope to spend the foreseeable future with her. long distance has sucked, but i've almost always gotten to see her at least once a month. and hopefully soon she will be move to laramie with me.

I'm now back into a hobby that i had abbandoned for quite some time. warhamer tabletop strat. now that there is a store in town im getting to play alot more and getting into the painting and modeling aspect of it. i guess that is my only simi artistic avenue that i have done in quite some time. i dont realy know weather to lament it or not. going back through my achives didnt realy help my outlook on my own creative projects. i like taking pictures, but thats all that they are: pictures, no involvment from me. my digital stuff was just playing with numbers. and my poetry makes me wince to read it now.

theres more that could be said for my absences and other random tidbits that i have done. but i think that most of it is unimportant. i dont know if i will be back on DA anytime soon. i realy dont. it just feels different, not in any kind of negative way... just... it has changed. if someone honestly wants to comunicate with me again. you can always email me at chaos022@yahoo.com i can never say never. i will probably be back here. but not anytime soon. i cant think of some possibly upbeat final line to put at the bottom of this. all my friends say that i am always optimistic and this entire journal seems to contradict it. weird moods brought on by alot of old memories. so i guess if anyone is reading this i do appreciate it, this was a great way to vent and sort out my life, if just for a little while.

live life always
Mike.